Take a DEEP breath

A break is needed from this computer!!!  I have graded 43 finals in the last two days, which is cause enough to get as far away from this computer as possible.  But I can't.  I'm not finished grading all the finals. 21 more to go, then I have a few discussion posts to grade and I can shut this semester down.  I do not like finals week.  No joke. Of the 16 weeks I teach, finals week is the only one that almost convinces me to quit. EVERY TIME.  I will get through it though and then I'll receive feedback from students (some rather insightful and uplifting), appreciation from the university (BYU-I in particular is very good at this), and my paycheck... :) ....resulting in a pleasant rejuvenation and the ability to enjoy my break before I prepare to do it all again.

I was able to accomplish a great deal of grading today in particular, because of Matthew.  Surprising, right?  It's because he was gone for three hours!  He started his preschool on Tuesday and attended again today.  I drove him to school the first day, but today the bus picked him up at our house (convenient as his school and Makenna's start at the same time and they are 10+ minutes away from each other).  I have been experiencing some major guilt about Matthew attending preschool.  He is three years old for crying out loud!  I am his mother and as such, should provide him with any schooling necessary to prepare him for his 'formal education'.  Add to that, he is now riding a bus, completely removing me from the school in which he is attending, and I become the worst mother around.  That's what Raegan #1 says.  Raegan #2 acknowledges that this little guy is in need of added support that I simply cannot provide.  I do have a background in education; but no where in my schooling did I take early childhood courses.  I have no education in early childhood speech or behavioral management skills for toddlers who are incapable of expressing their needs due to a speech delay. R2 is also a little selfish in that she sees a golden opportunity to accomplish a great many tasks during his twice a week preschool. R1 is ashamed of R2 for that.  Bad R2. Bad.  

With those thoughts (and countless others, including full conversations between R1 and R2) I sent Matthew off to school on the bus today and received a little relief when the little guy had a perma-grin for getting to ride a bus.  He saw it driving down our street and flipped our lock on the front door faster than a burglar and made a b-line for our street.  I barely had time to say good-bye as he waved, running away from me.  I ran up to the bus and exchanged a few pleasantries with his driver and aid, snagged a photo, and was then verbally booted off the bus by Matthew himself.

The time arrived when I knew the bus should be heading back. This was not a fun time. R1 and R2 created a terrifying illusion about all that could go wrong; one scenario involved an evil bus driver deciding Matthew was so cute she'd take him home.  A few panic texts were sent to Terry.  Finally (well within the projected return time BTW), his bus drove down our street and a grinning boy emerged, laden with treats and presents  from his first pajama party at school.  The battle between R1 and R2 will have to rest until another day, regardless how much I try to screw up as a parent and over-analyze things, he seems to be just fine.